Right from childhood we are taught, encouraged, celebrated, and even conditionally loved till we are transformed from carefree youngsters into selfless, giving adults who place others above themselves. Every choice we make, from how we speak to how we sit or how we dress is scrutinized. How we choose our husband, career, maid, or even if we choose to marry or have children is met with unsolicited advice.
Peer Pressure
While growing up, we tend to believe that our parents, the galaxy of uncles and aunts and occasionally, that nosy family friend are the most knowledgeable. We believe that they have seen the world and know best to guide us in all our choices. In the face of constant pressure to conform to expectations, we eventually succumb to the relentless pressure. This is the easiest escape for many of us and our means of ensuring peace of mind.
However, the decision on whether to remain silent or to speak our minds is a critical one. Asking Why? or Why not? is not easy. We need both courage and determination to navigate these difficult conversations. We also need quiet strength to filter out the noise and act with quiet resolve. It takes maturity to smile at the well-meaning uncles and aunts while at the same time doing what is practical, comfortable, or joyful.
Tales from the Past
I recall cycling to my veena class in jeans and a helmet, surrounded by women wearing long skirts and plaits, all for the love of classical music. I ignored the side glances and stares. As time passed, I learned to flaunt non-conformity as my style statement!
Career Path
A career in sales, at a time when finance was considered a more “woman-friendly” profession, was another defining decision. As a people person, I knew deep down that I would thrive in this space, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. Throughout my career, I have had the opportunity to travel the world, including challenging locations such as Yemen and Sudan. I have seen how people are fundamentally the same wherever they go. I found the experience to be humbling and life changing.
Motherhood and Routine
As a young mother, I chose to travel for work, relying on a reliable support system consisting of a skilled nanny and a considerate husband rather than the well-meaning but often restrictive guidance of my parents.
What’s Your Worth
These are not earth-shaking examples of fiery feminism or flag-bearing decisions that govern women’s rights. It is important to note that these are the everyday decisions made by women – often in well-meaning families – that are lost in the hurricane of larger headlines that clamour for attention. Taking a rebellious stance and saying no is an obvious choice. The challenge of maintaining one’s identity without confrontation, however, is a lot more challenging. It is a delicate balance that requires patience, perseverance, and tact.
Therefore, when I observe overt protest, rage for a cause, symbolic flag-waving, or dramatic posturing, I wonder if the quiet but significant choices made every day by women deserve to be heard as well? There is a need for more stories relating to these nuanced decisions that have shaped our lives. They may not be radical, but they are powerful. By highlighting these small yet meaningful acts of defiance, we create moments of truth and tangible change in what is deemed acceptable. Because in the end, it is these choices, made quietly but resolutely, that truly redefine the boundaries of freedom and equality for women everywhere.
About the Contributor – Shobha Moni, an MBA graduate from IIM Bangalore, has over 40 years of experience in consulting and business development. She is the Founder and Partner of Triad Software Services, an award-winning Sage Global partner. As the Director of the IIMBAA Emirates Chapter and a former President of Emirates Toastmasters, she is deeply engaged in leadership and mentorship. Beyond her professional achievements, she is a passionate weekend painter and a classical music (veena) enthusiast.
This contribution is under the International Women’s Day initiative #SheIsInfinite.
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